I’ve been thinking a lot about satisfaction lately, which is ostensibly what everyone wants but no one actively seeks out. An analogy that’s been stuck in my head forever: getting into a relationship is like choosing a car, but being in the relationship is like driving it. As far as I can tell, people are obsessed with choosing the “right” car, but if you tell them the driving experience is terrible they’ll be like “No I don’t even care, it’s my dream car.” Then later on they’ll complain about how they’re dissatisfied because, well, life just sucks and no one is ever satisfied.
Oof, this came for my LIFE. Only this morning I was wishing someone would tell me [current life choice pending] is okay and then: "To wear someone else’s fantasy like a second skin is liberation from having your own." Terrifying. Thank you.
"These days when I think about agency I think about how freedom is terrifying. Because there’s no one to approve of what you’re going after, no one to tell you you’re good for pursuing it. To be free, you have to stop wanting approval. For most of us, approval is the signal that matters more than anything else." THIS. is so on point. perhaps we as humans don't really want to be free?
You hit the nail on the head with this one. I came across this newsletter when I needed it the most and it keeps striking a chord with me with every post :) Thank you for your wise words, sending love from Argentina!
This made me think of Winnicott's true self vs false self. But also, about a general concept I think of often, how the possibility of having many different things is more satisfying than actually getting them. Maybe wanting is a human function that leads to progress. We are never meant to be completely satisfied, otherwise the world would stop.
there are some things in live i've literally resigned myself to only wanting and never having because I KNOW I won't enjoy them that much once I actually have them, and I get way more satisfaction in daydreaming about them
example: more money
there are other things i know that as i commit to improving their reality over time, my lived experience of them gets sweeter and deeper
Oof, this came for my LIFE. Only this morning I was wishing someone would tell me [current life choice pending] is okay and then: "To wear someone else’s fantasy like a second skin is liberation from having your own." Terrifying. Thank you.
wow, really makes you think
Whoa, so good. The entire last paragraph is 💯🪅💯
"These days when I think about agency I think about how freedom is terrifying. Because there’s no one to approve of what you’re going after, no one to tell you you’re good for pursuing it. To be free, you have to stop wanting approval. For most of us, approval is the signal that matters more than anything else." THIS. is so on point. perhaps we as humans don't really want to be free?
You hit the nail on the head with this one. I came across this newsletter when I needed it the most and it keeps striking a chord with me with every post :) Thank you for your wise words, sending love from Argentina!
This made me think of Winnicott's true self vs false self. But also, about a general concept I think of often, how the possibility of having many different things is more satisfying than actually getting them. Maybe wanting is a human function that leads to progress. We are never meant to be completely satisfied, otherwise the world would stop.
Very powerful; hits deep and rings true
there are some things in live i've literally resigned myself to only wanting and never having because I KNOW I won't enjoy them that much once I actually have them, and I get way more satisfaction in daydreaming about them
example: more money
there are other things i know that as i commit to improving their reality over time, my lived experience of them gets sweeter and deeper
example: family, friends, and my girlfriend
super great read, thanks for writing this
Always assertive I love reading your thoughts dear!!