I had a therapy session this week so connected with this text that it feels eerie. My therapist made an observation, that it seemed that I had a problem with "being dependent." Of course I do, I said, I value independence, especially in relation to autonomy. He then clarified that autonomy, independence, and collective interdependence are important, practical, and relevant aspects of life. However, in the realm of the personal, there's a lot to be gained from appreciating the value of dependence - not codependence, of course. Intentional, chosen, free-flowing dependence with and for others. The session ended as an open question, so I may have a lot to process from it. But I couldn't help sharing this here (this is my first time commenting btw 🙂 ).
Another fantastic piece this, Ava! The following couple of lines were the highlight for me- perfectly explaining the balance between the human need for social connection and the equally necessary need for mental piece that independence brings:
"Being alone in the correct way seems to be about this inner knowing: a compassionate, accurate sense of who you are, and with that, an ability to be close to others without wanting to control their decisions. The ability to express need (“I’d like to see you tonight!”) without dependence (“My week is ruined if I can’t see you tonight”)."
"We are both wildly alone and completely interconnected." There we go, that's the red thread. Thanks, Ava.
Would love to know more about the what way you see 'self' differently to how most conceptualize it?
I had a therapy session this week so connected with this text that it feels eerie. My therapist made an observation, that it seemed that I had a problem with "being dependent." Of course I do, I said, I value independence, especially in relation to autonomy. He then clarified that autonomy, independence, and collective interdependence are important, practical, and relevant aspects of life. However, in the realm of the personal, there's a lot to be gained from appreciating the value of dependence - not codependence, of course. Intentional, chosen, free-flowing dependence with and for others. The session ended as an open question, so I may have a lot to process from it. But I couldn't help sharing this here (this is my first time commenting btw 🙂 ).
loved this a lot, the title and writing captures an ongoing thought I've had about interdependence so beautifully. thank you!
Another fantastic piece this, Ava! The following couple of lines were the highlight for me- perfectly explaining the balance between the human need for social connection and the equally necessary need for mental piece that independence brings:
"Being alone in the correct way seems to be about this inner knowing: a compassionate, accurate sense of who you are, and with that, an ability to be close to others without wanting to control their decisions. The ability to express need (“I’d like to see you tonight!”) without dependence (“My week is ruined if I can’t see you tonight”)."