I’m preparing an application that requires me to compile pictures from the past two years, and it’s made me realize that 1) I have a really nice life and 2) I don’t enjoy it nearly as much as I should because I’m a perfectionist who likes to be in control. Historically, I’ve always been like
I resonate with that feeling of suspicion towards good things happening in life or people being nice/loving to me. It actually has a name - an Upper Limits Problem. It's from a book I got a lot out of called Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, who concluded that it's the major obstacle that keeps people from forming deep relationships. When things are great and you get what you wanted, you reject it because it's 'too good' based on some presets you have about how good life can be. I got some value from having a name for this pattern and calling myself out on it more. Good luck! It sounds like you're on a beautiful journey with yourself :)
Was wondering if you have thought about putting together a book list? I find out about a lot of books in these posts that I never would have heard of otherwise.
Confronting mortality has helped me find beauty in the day-to-day moments... I often think about how I would want to approach this current moment if I were looking back from my deathbed, then do my best to live richly and without regret.
Relinquishing control, idealism - letting things fall and rest where they may. Accepting change as a beautiful thing. There’s indeed a beautiful duality to love + loss. “To lose something meant you had it for a brief flash of time” ✔️ ty for the perspective, Ava!!
I resonate with that feeling of suspicion towards good things happening in life or people being nice/loving to me. It actually has a name - an Upper Limits Problem. It's from a book I got a lot out of called Conscious Loving by Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks, who concluded that it's the major obstacle that keeps people from forming deep relationships. When things are great and you get what you wanted, you reject it because it's 'too good' based on some presets you have about how good life can be. I got some value from having a name for this pattern and calling myself out on it more. Good luck! It sounds like you're on a beautiful journey with yourself :)
Was wondering if you have thought about putting together a book list? I find out about a lot of books in these posts that I never would have heard of otherwise.
This is the first "be grateful" piece that resonates with me. You're a terrific writer, can't wait for your book
Confronting mortality has helped me find beauty in the day-to-day moments... I often think about how I would want to approach this current moment if I were looking back from my deathbed, then do my best to live richly and without regret.
Relinquishing control, idealism - letting things fall and rest where they may. Accepting change as a beautiful thing. There’s indeed a beautiful duality to love + loss. “To lose something meant you had it for a brief flash of time” ✔️ ty for the perspective, Ava!!