According to the NYPD, anti-Asian hate crimes rose 1,900% in New York last year. Influencers post graphics that say “Stop hate crimes against Asian-Americans” on their Instagram Stories. I am currently residing in a ski town in Utah, the whitest place I have ever lived. I’ve been thinking lately about how I don’t have a clearly defined narrative for my Asian identity. Actually, I’ve been thinking about how there’s no clearly defined narrative for Asian-Americans at all.
> And he just gave me this look like, why would you care about something like that, and I realized, oh, here is someone who has never thought about race his whole entire life ... I should’ve tried to explain, I know—how something you don’t even really understand can affect so much of your lived experience, how when anyone sees me now and forever the first thing they’ll recognize is that I’m an Asian woman—but I just turned away. I didn’t want to say anything to him at all.
This line made me reflect on myself (I omitted a section on purpose). Thanks for writing this.
I resonated with this line - "But there has to be more to it than just those archetypes, right? Maybe no one is interested in the Asian-American experience, but I still have to live it. I’m not an activist or an advocate or particularly informed at all—I’m just stumbling through my life, trying to describe if all. " and so many other lines haha. thank you for writing about this.
I wrote something about being asian-british some time back (https://notesbyalake.substack.com/p/belonging-shame-and-defining-yourself) that touched on that sense of everyone else always trying to tell us who we are. thought this quote from Audre lorde helped - "If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive”
I'm 41, born and raised in Nanjing China and came to NYC when I was 10. I never moved anywhere else. This was a good read and easy to read. I've been called many things growing up from FOB to Twinkie and Banana. I grew up diagnosed with tourette syndrome and I had many distracting tics but all these only made me eventually feel good about my uniqueness. I'm aware of the American systematic racism and I am also aware of the classism struggle in China. I think you could write a follow up article to this 20 years from now and let's see what have you progressed more by then. Well done!
this makes me feel seen. so much of my reading while younger was seeking out experiences that were novel to me, but so much of my reading now is trying to identify not only my narrative of self, my experiences, but their value.
p.s. recently charles yu's interior chinatown very succinctly summed up that feeling of being played into a stereotype if you're still looking for books to add to your list
Thank you for sharing. Your perspective and sensibility are so valuable and illuminating!
called the hell out of this
https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-muddled-history-of-anti-asian-violence?utm_social-type=owned&utm_medium=social&mbid=social_facebook&utm_brand=tny&utm_source=facebook&fbclid=IwAR2O3lURvr5Afa-r3OxVLuNO4SfKjgvlI9fGmw2vG6u20KyhADM6SyddjSY
> And he just gave me this look like, why would you care about something like that, and I realized, oh, here is someone who has never thought about race his whole entire life ... I should’ve tried to explain, I know—how something you don’t even really understand can affect so much of your lived experience, how when anyone sees me now and forever the first thing they’ll recognize is that I’m an Asian woman—but I just turned away. I didn’t want to say anything to him at all.
This line made me reflect on myself (I omitted a section on purpose). Thanks for writing this.
I resonated with this line - "But there has to be more to it than just those archetypes, right? Maybe no one is interested in the Asian-American experience, but I still have to live it. I’m not an activist or an advocate or particularly informed at all—I’m just stumbling through my life, trying to describe if all. " and so many other lines haha. thank you for writing about this.
I wrote something about being asian-british some time back (https://notesbyalake.substack.com/p/belonging-shame-and-defining-yourself) that touched on that sense of everyone else always trying to tell us who we are. thought this quote from Audre lorde helped - "If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive”
I'm 41, born and raised in Nanjing China and came to NYC when I was 10. I never moved anywhere else. This was a good read and easy to read. I've been called many things growing up from FOB to Twinkie and Banana. I grew up diagnosed with tourette syndrome and I had many distracting tics but all these only made me eventually feel good about my uniqueness. I'm aware of the American systematic racism and I am also aware of the classism struggle in China. I think you could write a follow up article to this 20 years from now and let's see what have you progressed more by then. Well done!
this makes me feel seen. so much of my reading while younger was seeking out experiences that were novel to me, but so much of my reading now is trying to identify not only my narrative of self, my experiences, but their value.
p.s. recently charles yu's interior chinatown very succinctly summed up that feeling of being played into a stereotype if you're still looking for books to add to your list