1. Hungry ghosts If you don’t stop it never gets better. I know you think that if you keep clinging until your hands are bloody you can change the conditions of the game. It doesn’t work like that. The game is rigged and you keep losing. This is for you if you’ve ever paced around your apartment at an hour you should be asleep, propelled by the frantic need to do something again and again. Waiting for a text then waiting for the next text. Eating an entire pack of Oreos, then moving onto the pizza you ordered on Doordash at 1 AM. Buying and buying and buying. Carefully monitoring the level of alcohol left your glass, worried it’ll run out, worried that something will get between you and your fix.
Great post! I love the hungry ghost analogy. I’ll have to read Mate’s book.
One topic that I think is a bit underexplored is the relationship between our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sides as it relates to addiction. For example, I’ve noticed that the biggest single thing I can do to stay on the right track is to get enough sleep. And when I am emotionally down, it’s easy to give in.
This is a great post Ava! Jeffrey Schwartz is a leading OCD expert and he also wrote a book for anyone struggling with bad habits “You Are Not Your Brain”. It is my all time favorite psychology book and I would highly recommend it. He covers the 4 step process that you referenced and gives a lot of guidance on how to implement them successfully.
Another great post, your writing is always so thought-provoking and thorough! A few days ago I listened to this incredible podcast episode called “The Opposite of Addiction,” which started at a very general level and honed in more on tech addiction. Rather than focusing on the brain side of things, however, it spoke more to the social/societal aspects of addiction: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6mz0RxgThRZW4pSu5ZABXs
I also just tonight finished the *amazing* novel “Ceremony,” by Leslie Marmon-Silko, which was a perfect complement to/expansion of the more societal view of the source of the hungry ghosts, specifically the existential emptiness brought on by white civilization’s insatiable greed and destructiveness. The first half of the book is devastating, but the second half is surprisingly hopeful despite the clarity with which it ties together addiction, war, and environmental apocalypse as the legacy of colonialism. Really, really recommend <3
need this today, thank you :')
Great post! I love the hungry ghost analogy. I’ll have to read Mate’s book.
One topic that I think is a bit underexplored is the relationship between our physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual sides as it relates to addiction. For example, I’ve noticed that the biggest single thing I can do to stay on the right track is to get enough sleep. And when I am emotionally down, it’s easy to give in.
Thanks for the write up!
Fantastic post !
This is a great post Ava! Jeffrey Schwartz is a leading OCD expert and he also wrote a book for anyone struggling with bad habits “You Are Not Your Brain”. It is my all time favorite psychology book and I would highly recommend it. He covers the 4 step process that you referenced and gives a lot of guidance on how to implement them successfully.
Another great post, your writing is always so thought-provoking and thorough! A few days ago I listened to this incredible podcast episode called “The Opposite of Addiction,” which started at a very general level and honed in more on tech addiction. Rather than focusing on the brain side of things, however, it spoke more to the social/societal aspects of addiction: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6mz0RxgThRZW4pSu5ZABXs
I also just tonight finished the *amazing* novel “Ceremony,” by Leslie Marmon-Silko, which was a perfect complement to/expansion of the more societal view of the source of the hungry ghosts, specifically the existential emptiness brought on by white civilization’s insatiable greed and destructiveness. The first half of the book is devastating, but the second half is surprisingly hopeful despite the clarity with which it ties together addiction, war, and environmental apocalypse as the legacy of colonialism. Really, really recommend <3
I really enjoyed reading this!
This is such a great line! "An addict is someone who seeks physical solutions to emotional or spiritual problems.”
I hadn't heard of Hungry Ghosts before, but it reminded me of this Kurt Vonnegut story.
Joe Heller
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!”
— Kurt Vonnegut
The New Yorker, May 16th, 2005
> Remind yourself: I am looking for reassurance that can’t be given. I am looking to fill an emptiness that I have to learn to accept.
I love this.