by Gerhard Richter I’ve been traveling too much lately. Right now I’m pretty bad at maintaining my daily routine when I’m away from home—my sleep schedule gets messed up, I eat out and go to too many bars, I meet a flood of new people. When I travel I’m always reminded of how vast the world is, and I end up feeling like I’m not doing enough.
"But I think real love involves full acceptance of someone or something through its entire lifecycle"
This is something I'm constantly thinking about since my divorce a few years ago. I might change my mind - I usually do - but right now my take is that true love happens all the time, however fleeting it is. Doesn't matter if it's a single passionate night with that one person you felt inexplicably attracted from the moment you locked eyes with, or the one you feel super comfortable to be around, even in silence, the one you want to share your memes with when you're scrolling your feed during your lunch break. The line I quoted from your essay may be the key to a happy long term relationship, but doesn't necessarily mean true love. I think love is true, in and of itself. It might be the one true thing about ourselves. When we're in love is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, when we drop our act and lower our defenses. If it lasts a fleeting moment or a lifetime, in the end it's still love regardless.
One of my favorite films has this scene where the heroine tells the hero, who's a photographer that perhaps he should look for a different profession since he's not that good at photography. He walks alone, with her words circling in his head and finds an old woman on the street, clicks photos of her and brings a smile on to the old woman's face. He calls the heroine and tells her, "I might suck at photography but I feel alive while holding the camera and seeing through the lens. I might not take even one good photo and might remain a failure all my life but this process gives me happiness. So I want to keep doing it". Your post reminded me of this scene :)
Ava, earlier this week I read David Perell’s essay One Big Idea(https://perell.com/essay/one-big-idea/). I’ve just started The Art of Noticing by Rob Walker. Your essay fits the themes of my week perfectly and, as usual, is the loveliest one to read. Thank you.
I think about this a lot and then think, “what if the one small thing I choose turns out to become obsolete by the time I’m really good at it, like make the best buggy whip” I will have wasted a life being useful to no one.
Ava, reading your letter is like reading my own thoughts aloud. I thought at first, coincidence, but every time it’s so relatable. Thanks. Also, are you a 5 Enneagram (if you even think the enneagram is useful?). I’m a 5 and everything in this letter screams 5. Maybe a 3. XO Chan
"But I think real love involves full acceptance of someone or something through its entire lifecycle"
This is something I'm constantly thinking about since my divorce a few years ago. I might change my mind - I usually do - but right now my take is that true love happens all the time, however fleeting it is. Doesn't matter if it's a single passionate night with that one person you felt inexplicably attracted from the moment you locked eyes with, or the one you feel super comfortable to be around, even in silence, the one you want to share your memes with when you're scrolling your feed during your lunch break. The line I quoted from your essay may be the key to a happy long term relationship, but doesn't necessarily mean true love. I think love is true, in and of itself. It might be the one true thing about ourselves. When we're in love is when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable, when we drop our act and lower our defenses. If it lasts a fleeting moment or a lifetime, in the end it's still love regardless.
That's my experience and reflection so far!
Love despite..
One of my favorite films has this scene where the heroine tells the hero, who's a photographer that perhaps he should look for a different profession since he's not that good at photography. He walks alone, with her words circling in his head and finds an old woman on the street, clicks photos of her and brings a smile on to the old woman's face. He calls the heroine and tells her, "I might suck at photography but I feel alive while holding the camera and seeing through the lens. I might not take even one good photo and might remain a failure all my life but this process gives me happiness. So I want to keep doing it". Your post reminded me of this scene :)
Ava, earlier this week I read David Perell’s essay One Big Idea(https://perell.com/essay/one-big-idea/). I’ve just started The Art of Noticing by Rob Walker. Your essay fits the themes of my week perfectly and, as usual, is the loveliest one to read. Thank you.
Love isn't just the feeling, it's the action!
rituals help humankind to have a direction and save from stupidity of ourselves.
the disciplined mind has the most freedom.
It's like you read my journal this morning, so many of the same thoughts. Thanks for sharing, this hit hard!
This hit home. Perfect timing. Thank you.
I think about this a lot and then think, “what if the one small thing I choose turns out to become obsolete by the time I’m really good at it, like make the best buggy whip” I will have wasted a life being useful to no one.
I've wrestled with this alot recently - appreciate the reinforcement.
It's funny (and a bit sad) how quick we can be to give this advice to others, while doing it ourselves, can seem like the hardest thing in the world.
Really appreciate your writing.
Ava, reading your letter is like reading my own thoughts aloud. I thought at first, coincidence, but every time it’s so relatable. Thanks. Also, are you a 5 Enneagram (if you even think the enneagram is useful?). I’m a 5 and everything in this letter screams 5. Maybe a 3. XO Chan
Thanks for the reminder to stay consistent with what want and love to do. 👍🏾