I feel more securely attached now, I told a friend two weeks ago. To whom? she asked. Uh, to the world. I’m not an expert on attachment theory, but certain things it posits are undeniable. For instance, the idea that your attachment style affects not only your romantic relationships but also your general sense of well-being.
This is an excellent piece. Feeling safe and secure within ourselves helps us to empathize with others and make meaningful change in our lives. As a friend said:
"I think there is this switch in understanding humanity. Once you gasp that other people feel/behave/think very much like you - are in fact so much like you, you could wake up in their body, you'd prob be sure it's your body if you didn't look in the mirror."
I guess safety(feeling of being safe) may come from different and repeated risk taking but without breaking yourself. Essentially, it is ig "hey I will not die if I do x".
sort of evo psych type answers may also easily fit here like no threat / cooperation / secured-food = safety.
i wonder how the locus of safety is different for different living things and how it can mumble jumble into each other.
eg have you seen a video where a little bird may follow a fellow human(thinking it is it's parent).
or
soldiers coming from exterme war situations where their locus of safety may only be in that die for each other type situations(comradery).
This really spoke to me: "The most useful skill you can acquire as a human is the ability to help other people feel safe. That requires an understanding and an attentiveness to their needs, a genuine commitment to their lived experience."
The difficulty is also in figuring what a genuine commitment to their lived experience looks like. How does one express that? Perhaps through active listening, presence, showing that we understand them through our actions that reflect our commitment to them. A slow, daily act that builds over time
Beautifully expressed as always, and it something I am starting to feel myself (after years of not, and a lot of Work). It's kind of wonderful, and even more so to have it clearly stated like this. 💗
i wish i could get rid of the limerence so i could feel safe as you do
This is an excellent piece. Feeling safe and secure within ourselves helps us to empathize with others and make meaningful change in our lives. As a friend said:
"I think there is this switch in understanding humanity. Once you gasp that other people feel/behave/think very much like you - are in fact so much like you, you could wake up in their body, you'd prob be sure it's your body if you didn't look in the mirror."
https://twitter.com/RikaGoldberg/status/1532453148396179456?s=20&t=0axt-FYRXRvbPLuDJCecMw
I guess safety(feeling of being safe) may come from different and repeated risk taking but without breaking yourself. Essentially, it is ig "hey I will not die if I do x".
sort of evo psych type answers may also easily fit here like no threat / cooperation / secured-food = safety.
i wonder how the locus of safety is different for different living things and how it can mumble jumble into each other.
eg have you seen a video where a little bird may follow a fellow human(thinking it is it's parent).
or
soldiers coming from exterme war situations where their locus of safety may only be in that die for each other type situations(comradery).
This really spoke to me: "The most useful skill you can acquire as a human is the ability to help other people feel safe. That requires an understanding and an attentiveness to their needs, a genuine commitment to their lived experience."
The difficulty is also in figuring what a genuine commitment to their lived experience looks like. How does one express that? Perhaps through active listening, presence, showing that we understand them through our actions that reflect our commitment to them. A slow, daily act that builds over time
Beautifully expressed as always, and it something I am starting to feel myself (after years of not, and a lot of Work). It's kind of wonderful, and even more so to have it clearly stated like this. 💗
I so identify with this thanks for writing this