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“Letting go of that idea was the most freeing thing in the world. I’ve known that I should let go of it for years, but hearing the thought reiterated in easily digestible self-help mumbo at a time when I was psychologically ready to accept it actually made a difference.“

This hits right in the head the point that it makes sense to repeat certain things to yourself. Hopefully at some point, one will be ready to internalize it and put it into action.

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Specifically, I turned everywhere else except towards myself.

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Great post Ava! It felt like you were taking jumbled words and feelings that have been floating around my head for a while and organized them into a cohesive and well-written essay.

Being an immigrant myself, I’ve also struggled with external validation my entire life. I’ve been trying to move past letting other people and my career dictate if and when I am worthy. This part really hit home:

“I will make the thing I need to make. I will be the one who gives catharsis to myself.”

Cheers! Looking forward to your next post :)

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Hi Ava. Have you read anything that relates to taking too much responsibility in relation to that pattern of high achievement and self validation by primarily external metrics? - Mo

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